Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Decline of the Visionary Filmmaker

When George Lucas released a box set of the first three Indiana Jones movies he quietly renamed the classic Raiders of the Lost Ark, calling it Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. This unusual move did not attract much attention because it occurred on home video.

Lucas also continued to edit the first three Star Wars movies for years after their original releases, retrofitting and rereleasing them to theaters in the 1990s with new visual effects. These more prominent revisions raised a lot of eyebrows.

Speaking on behalf of the many movie fans who were offended by Lucas' retroactive tampering, I hereby announce the revised titles of his three Star Wars prequels:

Star Wars Episode I: A Massive Disappointment
;

Star Wars Episode II: Another Appalling Piece of Crap
; and

Star Wars Episode III: Better Than The Last Two, But Still, On Balance, Terrible.

The three movies will henceforth be collectively known as the "This Is The Best You Could Do With Sixteen Years and A Billion Dollars?" trilogy.

1 comment:

Brian said...

And I like the old rough versions better. It all went out the window when they brought in the special effects machines. To much emphasis on special effects and the plot went out the window. Who can also keep track of the silly way they did the series, example, episode 1 followed by what 4 then 2, 6, 3? I could never figure out who was who in the past/present and who was related to whom.