Thursday, May 22, 2008

More misfortune

I recently alluded to a fortune cookie fortune (not to be confused with a cookie fortune cookie) that wasn't a fortune at all, merely an observation. On my usual high horse, I broke out the tweed jacket from my teaching days and delivered a brief lecture as to what is and is not a fortune. Apparently another sermon is in order.

Because the Chinese meal was carry-out, I was given not one but four fortune cookies. Ever on the lookout for blog fodder, I decided I would gradually crack open the remaining cookies and report on whether my fortunes improved, literally and figuratively.

Fortune #2 doesn't deliver the goods any better than Fortune #1. The new "fortune" reads, "Use your talents. That's what they are intended for."

Good advice, to be sure, but advice is not a fortune. "Look before you leap" is not a fortune. "Respect your elders" is not a fortune. "You will inherit a large windfall" is a fortune. "Happier times are around the corner" is a fortune.

At least they're chocolate fortune cookies.


Anonymous said...

I, too, have noticed the decline in actual "fortunes" in cookies. In addition to fortunes that sound more like proverbs, I get "compliment" cookies (e.g., "People find you attractive.")

I have not, however, seen a chocolate fortune cookie.

Ben said...

I too had one recently that said "People find Jeff attractive."

Anonymous said...

I once got a fortune that said "Life to you is a dashing, bold adventure," which isn't technically a fortune (more of an observation), but is still awesome because it's a Faith No More lyric. One wonders who copied whom.