I had the pleasure of attending the 2004 Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne.
That year's promotional theme, "Super Heroes Super Tennis," featured superhero illustrations of various top players, complete with dashing poses, skintight outfits and improbable musculature.
Extending the theme, they also trumpeted each player's tennis-related superpower: Andy Roddick's "Thunderbolt Forehand," Serena Williams' "Intimidating Force," Lleyton Hewitt's "Blinding Speed," Andre Agassi's "Bullet-like Return," etc.
My favorite superpower was that of the top Thai player on the men's tour, Paradorn Srichaphan: "Spellbinding Humility."
Beware, evildoers, lest Paradorn shyly swoop in and blush you into submission!
As I indicated recently in this space, I'm all for humility, but "spellbinding humility?" Beyond its laughable selection as a superpower, does that even make sense? Can humility spellbind? Can modesty bewitch? Can self-effacement entrance? Mmm... no.
I guess "Quietly Impressive Humility Evincing a Placid Self-Confidence, or At Least an Awareness of Tennis Etiquette" didn't fit on the poster.