When I started this blog, lo these many weeks ago, my intention was to keep it an active, living thing. I resolved not to be one of those bloggers who hardly ever post, whose deep thoughts from six weeks ago on Lance Briggs or Chief Justice Roberts pass for their latest entry. People are busy, I reasoned, and if they're—you're—going to pay me the compliment of checking in here, you should be rewarded with something new since your previous visit (unless you visit several times a day; are you listening, Kristen Bell?). I decided I would therefore post at least every few days.
Four days have now passed since my previous post, but I have a pretty good excuse: my home DSL abruptly died six nights ago, consigning me to a 1973 lifestyle on the home front. Of course, I was already in the habit of wearing love beads and a polyester jumpsuit around the house while grooving to Bread LPs and Carpenters eight-tracks, but the lack of Internet access was most inconvenient. Among other things (email, work, writing, newspaper reading, my ongoing flame war with sK8oRdie43), blogging got interrupted.
Anyhoo, the AT&T tech dude just left, leaving behind a teeny new Motorola modem that makes my old SpeedStream look like the oversized, underpowered dinosaur it apparently was. And so I toast my return to connectivity with this entirely frivolous and unnecessary—that is to say, typical—blog post.
To the thousands who have emailed me in outrage, demanding that Ben Bass and Beyond resume its towering mediocrity, its thundering adequacy, reference is made to a moment of slightly lesser consequence to America's cultural life, namely Michael Jordan's March 18, 1995 press release: "I'm back."