It really is YouTube

I've never had a YouTube account. My inclination to shoot video is so negligible that, for example, the game-changing Flip camera was released, became insanely popular, gradually cooled off, and was eventually discontinued — all before I ever thought about getting one.

I recently felt like posting a comment on someone else's video, which required me to register a username on the site. I tried to choose the name "benbass" and here's what happened:

As you can see, YouTube replied that the name "benbass" was unavailable, surely due to my many imitators, but suggested various other options:

• MsBenbass:  Do they know something about me that I don't?
• benbassful:  I suppose I am if anyone is, but is that something I want to make into an Internet username? (On a related note, Megan F. and Maria K. in the 3212 Clifton Crew used to refer to me as "benbasstic.")
• benbassify and benbassification:   Although I am generally in favor of the benbassification of this country (and, indeed, world), all right-thinking people vehemently disagree with me. Again, who would go this route when choosing a YouTube username?
• SuperBenbass: Thanks for the compliment, but the shameless suckupery is off-putting, and even among people vain enough to name blogs after themselves, this seems obnoxious and preposterous to the extreme.

Apparently, YouTube really is all about you.